Guideposts for Millennial Leaders: Learn to Be Coached

As a leadership coach, I often work with clients who are seeking the clarity of a third party to navigate challenges in their careers and improve performance. There will always be someone willing to take your money and coach you. In many cases, that relationship will prove immensely valuable and pay dividends. But don’t forget to seek coaching from your own colleagues, too. 

When I transitioned from the nonprofit sector to a for-profit, publicly-traded software company, I had my fair share of self-doubt. My expertise was in education and my job was on the company’s learning and development team, but the world of tech was entirely foreign to me. My interviewers and soon-to-be teammates had all been warm, insightful, and encouraging but they also spoke quickly and used terminology and acronyms that I’d never heard before. More than once on my big interview day, I found myself completely distracted by the fear that they wouldn’t think I understood what they were saying enough to be a good hire. To my relief, a few days later I accepted an offer and began the journey to find someone who could bring me up-to-speed on all the terms and concepts that weren’t in my company onboarding program, but were clearly critical to my success.

Finding a coach within your current organization takes time. Each time you join a new team, there’s a transition period during which you learn who the teachers are, who you can trust, and who is willing to take the time to invest in your success. I tested out several people on the team before I came back to the most enthusiastic and personable interviewer I’d sat with several weeks earlier: Alex.

Alex had been at the company for five years before I arrived, but she didn’t speak in code the way other folks of her tenure did. She still had empathy for what it meant to be new and she was warm and friendly to me from day one. In fact, she hugged me as soon as I walked in the door on my first day. As I got to know Alex, I realized she was different from other people on the team in two key ways: she wasn’t afraid of vulnerability and she was genuinely interested in my success. She passed the trust test quickly, and we began working together on projects as frequently as possible.

Over the next five years, Alex taught me everything she knew about the business, the learning and development field, people management, and organizational politics. She was the first person I went to for feedback on a project, to rehearse a presentation, and to untangle a difficult interpersonal issue. Her feedback was always specific, direct, and made every project–and me–better. When I joined the leadership team as a new manager, she pushed me to speak up about my ideas, opinions, and objections and often amplified my voice when it was drowned out.

You might be thinking: “Well, isn’t Alex just a great colleague?” Yes, that’s true. But she was also a coach. She challenged me, supported me, and advocated for me over the course of several years, and there won’t be another day in my career that I won’t use a skill or bit of knowledge that I learned from her. 

There are coaches sitting at every level of your organization and regardless of your level in the organization, you can benefit from a coach. These colleagues have crucial feedback and difficult questions for you. Open yourself up to being coached by those you respect most— not those who are nicest to you or who hold power over you. The self-awareness and influencing ability you’ll gain will be powerful.

Podcast Recommendation: Re:Thinking with Adam Grant: Mellody Hobson on Taking Tough Feedback

Article Recommendation: Gender Disparities: How to Improve Coachability as a Leader by Joe Folkman